Dating Patricia Strenius or: how I stopped worrying and love the bench press.

June 13th, 2014

Dating a CrossFit girl

On my first date with Patricia I had to run 16 km just to get to talk to her, then we had lunch. In order to actually get a dinner out of her she tested me with two workouts, I can’t remember them in detail but I’m sure there were some cleans and thrusters somewhere. All I know is, I had to prove my fitness just to get a date.

I’ve always considered myself fit. When I left the marines after over 10 years of active duty I thought nothing was going to be able to hold me back. I’m glad I had that belief to hold on to when I met Patricia.

I know what you guys are thinking. dating a regionals qualified CrossFit girl is really cool! She’s fit as f**k and likes to workout. What could possibly be better?

Well, you’re right but for all the wrong reasons. She’s great, to get to where she is today she’s had to focus all her effort on her goal. Anyone who does that shows some great qualities as a person. To be able to do that when she, at the same time, finished her trial practice as a chiropractor and finalises her medical practitioners license is something of a feat. It just speaks lots of her character and her focus. But that’s not really what we notice is it… no, she’s got a great ass…. and she lifts heavy!


Yup, that’s what we really think about isn’t it. Dating a CrossFit girl is really nice. I have the really pleasant experience of living with a girl that is fitter then many of my old marine buddies (And waaaaay better looking!…).

Most guys think it’s nice to have a fit girl, and I agree. You want your girl to be physically active and work out. But…

When your girlfriend gets stronger then you:

“You know that feeling when you PR your Clean and Jerk, almost catching up to your girlfriend. She just smiles and says: I PR’d myself, your still 10 kg behind”.. at least I don’t have to carry the groceries home.”

Patricia Strenius clean and jerk 100 kg

People laugh and pat me on the back. But I know some of you wonder. How does it feel? There comes a time when you need to do some soul searching. I’ve spent over ten years in the armed forces. Being strong and enduring hardships was something I was good at. I wouldn’t say I built myself around it, but it was just something I assumed would be a part of me, then suddenly you sit down and realises that your girlfriend squats more then you.

I’d argue that sure, most guys like to have a fit girl, but what they really should want is a strong girl! The obvious benefits, like having someone help you carry the groceries home or having her jack up the car with a swift dead lift when you need to change the tire are not that common I tell you. But it’s the other things that change that are interesting. When we are equally strong, the “fundamental” order of things get turned upside down. I’ve met people who question me and wonder how I can date a girl that lifts more then me. I just really hope that our relationship is based on more then my ability to open jars and kill the occasional spider. I’ve come to terms with it. Honestly? I like it. Some things she’s better at then me, some things I’m better at then her. She fixes wrynecks and I fix communication strategies. Right now, she back squats more then me, but if you think I’m going to lay down and give up, you’re wrong.

The CrossFit Games

Sure, CrossFit Inc claims the contest is going to be held i Carson in July and I’m really looking forward to going there this year to experience it all. But I know that the real test is always ongoing. The CrossFit Games to show us who’s the fittest in out apartment is an ongoing struggle. When I met Patricia I could “force-muscle-guy-clean/and-or-snatch” more then her, easily. But then things started to change. She got even stronger and her technique improved and everything just got better. I suddenly found myself struggling to keep up with her Clean. During the summer of 2013 we both followed the CrossFit Invictus programming and we both evolved in both strength and conditioning. When the time came for our testing week at the end of the summer, honestly, I was scared. I’ve seen her make some huge improvement. And when the testing was done, sure enough, she had both front squatted and cleaned more then me.

What really matters in life, the two lifts that tell you something about a person

At the end of last year Numi stared coaching Patrica. Giving her a coach as a birthday present was one of the best and worst decisions of my life. Sure, I no longer had to worry about her programming or workouts, but suddenly she got a new fire burning in her. Thanks to Numi’s coaching and Patricas hard work she set a new pace and her eyes was fixed on the goal at the horizon. The Regionals where only a few short months away and she just kept getting better, faster and stronger.

Soon, all my PR’s where in the danger zone. I could keep her at bay for a while, but Numi was doing a much better job that I’d hoped. The back squat was out of the question, she beats me there any time. The front squat is “not my thing”. The clean and jerk we duelled with back and forth for a while before she sealed the deal with me stuck on 105.

And then she went and did it. She power snatched 80kg the other day. That’s it. That’s when I decided that enough is enough. I’ve decided that, in order to keep things fair and equal, we should only really measure two lifts. Those are the only ones that really matter in life. Those are the only lifts that we should ever really care about. Of course I’m talking about dead lifts and bench presses.

Guys, do you agree? Bench press is the only true test of fitness!

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